Princess and The Rock

Parenting | Homeschooling | Food | Fashion

Tuesday, 29 January 2013

"I won't look pretty!"


These four words uttered by the Princess created such a surge of emotions in me that I decided to abandon my morning plans for today to pen down my thoughts here.


It all started when I asked her to dress up for school in a long sleeved tee and denim leggings. She looked at her clothes and kicked up a fuss because she wanted to wear a dress to school. Being a concerned mother, I explained to her that it would not be a good idea as her school is notoriously know for being too cold and she has outgrown her stockings and leggings (didn't have time to get new ones yet) so she has nothing to put on beneath her dress to keep her warm.

The princess continued to insist on wearing a dress despite her father's attempt to convince her otherwise too. Finally, in between her sobs, she said, "I won't look pretty! My friends will say that I don't look nice!" I pulled her into my arms and told her that she looks the prettiest in mummy's and daddy's eyes. I delved further and found out that no one in school has ever commented that she is not pretty, it was a worry she has.

I wonder what caused the Princess to feel so strongly about "being pretty"? Not only that, she needed her friends to give her the assurance that she is. We know how the media has put pressure on women to look slim, have flawless skin and a branded wardrobe to top it off, but for a four year old to feel the same kind of pressure is staggering.

As someone who spends the most amount of time with her, I cannot help but ask myself how I have contributed to this. Have I, in my speech and action, echoed the same messages that comes from the media? Have I not inculcated in her that beauty on the inside makes a deeper impression than external beauty? Did I not remind her enough that she is "fearfully and wonderfully made?"

I feel pain in my heart knowing that she goes to school feeling that she needs to look good for her friends or maybe her friends will like her more if she looks prettier. I can't wait for February to end so that her new teacher, yours truly, can give a lesson everyday on how she is a gem and a gift from God, truly like what her name means!


How do you help your children achieve a positive self image?

8 comments:

  1. Following from www.littlesakofbeans.blogspot.com. As a Mom of 3 girls, I think of this often. What a great thought to reassure them that they are in fact "fearfully and wonderfully made". I love it.

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    1. Thanks for dropping by and yes, I remembered to remind the Princess that she is "fearfully and wonderfully made" in our bedtime prayer tonight. I went over to your blog for a peep, I love your humorous writing style and noticed you like crafts too! I feel connected to you already! :D

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  2. I guessed media does play an important issue affecting the children in this new generation.

    Avisha has been very pretty and everyone knows that so I blieved tt's why she pays more attention to how to look etc.

    Pray that God will show her the true inner beauty she has! =)

    xoxo
    Jo

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    1. Thanks for reading my blog. Amen to you prayer!

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  3. Hi Felicia,
    Your daughter is beautiful which I'm sure you know! I just wanted to share a thought with you. As your child matures, she will learn more skills, master new achievements and reach a higher level of competence. Your reaction to these milestones has a direct effect on her motivation to continue striving. If you react by applauding his efforts, your child learns that her achievements are important and noteworthy. However, if you ignore her accomplishments, due to your hectic life or because you take these miracles for granted for your child is merely following the path that everyone trots, you send her a subtle message that it doesn’t pay to continue trying. In the same vein, if you are overly involved and ceaselessly praise, prompt, push, prod and protect, the excessive pressure will stilt your child’s growth, because she will end up feeling incompetent. Besides, the child may be pressured into aiming for more than that which is naturally possible, interfering with the natural growth process. You want to strive to create a healthy balance of encouragement, without excessive interference or indifference.

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    1. Thank you for taking time to drop by. Those are great advice and especially important since I will be starting homeschooling with her from March onwards and will be influencing her learning more directly.

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  4. I really enjoyed this post. My daughter is nearly 3 and I often think about this topic. I try to tell her everyday that she is kind, smart, funny and pretty. (I sort of got the idea from the book The Help)

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  5. What an amazing post. My little girl is the same age, and its horrifying to think how the outside world will affect her self image. I love your empowering mothering, thank you! www.breezysmommy.blogspot.com

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