Princess and The Rock

Parenting | Homeschooling | Food | Fashion

Monday, 29 July 2013

I became a wife, a friend and a lover again!


I've just come back from a reunion with my best friend, also known as my husband. I'm writing this post with a tinge of sadness because I am suffering from post-holiday blues, not the usual feeling of I-wish-my-vacation-was-longer but the first of its kind. I miss my husband after a week of couple time with him!

For seven days six nights I was away on a vacation with my husband. No kids, just the two of us. To be honest, I wasn't as thrilled as I should be about the surprise belated birthday cum wedding anniversary gift (one week holiday at Bali) at first. Firstly I really didn't want to leave our children behind for so long (as I know I would miss them to bits!) And I was reluctant to stop teaching them for so many days as well. On top of that I felt that I would be imposing on my mum as she's busy on her own. However, I decided to go along as I did not want to disappoint my husband.

Little did I know that I've done myself a great favour by taking that plane to Bali! It was the best one week for as long as I remember (ok, maybe that's stretching it a bit but I'm sure you get the idea.)

View of the pool at The Stones Hotel, Legian


Although we really enjoyed our surfing lessons, had fantastic spa experiences and awesome food, what I appreciated most was the undivided attention my husband and I could give each other during the trip. I realised that my relationship with my husband has taken a back seat since my children came along; it happened so insidiously that I wasn't quite aware of it. By and by we held hands less (because we were either carrying our children or holding their hands), we dropped the goodbye kisses in the morning (I was more guilty of this because I would be busy in the kitchen with the preparation of the children's breakfast), our conversation largely revolved around children-related topics or to-dos and I've even become somebody else's wife! (The Rock has firmly told my husband, "She is MY wife, ok? Not yours!")

Crepes with espresso and mascarpone cream

The reconnection was precious to me in so many ways. We rekindled our friendship by talking about ourselves and doing things that we love, like enjoying long breakfasts, lazing by the pool (although he worked on his computer sometimes) or just being in the company of each other and doing nothing.

The Rock's competitor cheated by flying me out of the country!

I could concentrate on being a wife and not only a mother. I could choose to meet my husband's needs first, instead of my children's. I was his listening ear as he poured out his thoughts and emotions about the things that affect him and his bouncing board for ideas that excite him. I could be his companion who gave him undivided attention (instead of having to keep my eyes and ears peeled to seven other activities happening at the same time). I could love him according to his love language.

The huge Nasi Campur defeated him!

We laughed, we bantered and we had fun just like when we were dating. With distractions out of the way, I could appreciate my husband wholly again. And man! I must say that he has aged beautifully; a little salt and pepper hair on his head and stubble but that adds to the appeal, right? (I am VERY biased, don't say I didn't warn you. :P) Without the loads of laundry to be washed, meals to be prepared and bedsheets to be changed, I felt motivated to dress up a little and look attractive for my husband, and yes, the thought of sex didn't seem as tiring as before!

So these were what I learnt or were reminded of:

  1. The importance of consciously setting aside time for togetherness cannot be over-emphasised. It provides the necessary revitalisation and nourishment to a marriage.

  2. Striking a balance amongst the roles of a mother, a wife and being oneself helps maintain equilibrium and sanity!

  3. Create positive memories. They come in handy when you are drowning in the demands of everyday life.

For those who are interested to know which are the places, accommodations and restaurants that helped create those wonderful experiences for us, they'll be coming in later posts, after I get into the swing of mothering and homemaking roles again!


6 comments:

  1. Can tell from your huge smile you really enjoyed yourself! I must remind myself on your point number 1! I am to guilty of not setting time for my husband.

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    1. Hehe... oh yes, I did, despite the initial reluctance to go! This vacation really drove him point no. 1 to me too. :)

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  2. It must have been a rejuvenating holidays for you guys because the wide smiles say it all. I’m all for couple holidays after the kids come along as we often neglect our marriages and spouses. Hubby and I have been going on couple holidays for the past 2 years without the little one as it really gives us time to reconnect. Of course, it doesn’t have to be confined to holidays but also on the day to day basis too.

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    1. True that, the part about day-to-day. It's so important to do that daily check-in with each other at the end of each day but I'm usually so dead tired after I finish all my chores (if I do, that is) after the children go to bed. :P

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  3. Your post is so ... I can't even find the right word. It's bang on! We forget about our relationship that was the reason of our little wee ones being around! Sounds like a fabulous trip - and inspiring.

    My first time popping by...looking forward to more posts!

    .:Marta:.

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    1. Hi Marta, thanks for dropping by. :) It was indeed a wonderful trip for me and I didn't know how much I needed it! I love your fashion posts! I have a Fashion Friday linky every Friday, so feel free to link up. :)

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