Princess and The Rock

Parenting | Homeschooling | Food | Fashion

Tuesday, 4 February 2014

I'm Jealous of Jeanette Aw!

I'm so jealous of Jeanette Aw. NOT.

OK, maybe a little. We are after all about the same age but her skin looks way younger than mine, good thing I have a little help too.

Princess and The Rock
Photo Source: Instagram

Some of you may remember this photo that I've posted on Instagram. It was a fun comparison between an original no-filter and completely untouched photo and one that has been gently touched up by an App. Why did I do that? To be honest, Jeanette Aw's photo on Instagram was the catalyst that made me curious enough to find a beauty app and of course the many near-perfect selfies, selca and whatchamacallit. I secretly wondered how I would look like with a little help so I went ahead to "seek some help". Before you misunderstand, let me clarify that I'm not implying that Jeanette's photo was filtered or touched up, but I did joked with her and asked if she was using some amazing filter because if she wasn't I would be so jealous! If you are curious, this is the photo that sparked off my experiment with erasing-blemish-app.

Jeanette Aw
Photo Source: Statigram

After all this fun, while I was browsing through some photos on my Instagram feed, Princess pointed to Jeanette's photo and told me she knew her from the show that PoPo (my mother) was watching at her house. She also mentioned that she liked her because she's so pretty. At her age she is entitled to like someone because she looks like a princess or she is pretty but I hope she would grow to like or admire a person for other qualities rather than solely on appearance. I did not tell Princess more about Jeanette but on hind sight, I probably should have. In fact I think I'm going to let her know that the pretty girl whom she likes can dance and paint very well too but most importantly, she's got her feet on the ground despite her achievement. These skills are what she worked hard at and diligence is definitely praiseworthy!

Some people jokingly tell my husband and I that we need to "be careful" in the future as Princess' pretty looks are going to bring trouble (due to too many suitors). And she's got her fair share of praises like "You are so pretty!" or "Your eyes are so beautiful!" 

Sometimes I wished people would say something more about her effort though. I mean, she didn't determine how she looks but she put in effort in her drawing, reading, looking after her brother etc. I'm not saying I don't tell her she looks pretty (in fact I often think to myself how did we "make" such a pretty little angel!) but I say something like, "You look great in that dress you've chosen." or "Wow! You did an awesome job matching that shoes with your bag."

Sometimes I think thoughts like:

Is she going to think that she needs to have disproportionately large eyes, tiny nose and small face (maybe it'll be a different trend in the future) to look attractive?

Will she feel the need to touch up every photo before it can be seen by someone?

Would she pressured into the norm of wearing as little as possible?

Would she exploit her looks or be exploited because of her looks?

Will her self-esteem be largely determined by how attractive she/other people think she is?

Am I worrying too much and too early? Maybe. Maybe not.

There are just too many "role models" out there. I'm certainly comforted that she hasn't known the existence of Miley Cyrus but even Katy Perry in her cutesy "Roar" MTV, who also sang with Elmo, has decided to put up a much discussed "satanic performance" at the recent Grammy's.

Bottom line? Make sure you "arh ga liao" (a Hokkien term which means "on very good terms") with your daughter(s) so that you know exactly who she is influenced by and better still, be her role model! That's killing two birds with one stone because now you have to be or want to be the best that you can be so that your daughter can have someone trustworthy to look up to. You bet your daughter would really want to be like Mummy. I know mine does and that's quite a bit of pressure on me sometimes. (But it's good pressure.)

I don't like the "f" word but this makes total sense to me:
“If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked.” 
― George Carlin, Brain Droppings

I have, at around the same time last year, written a post on a similar topic. You can read it here.

Follow me on Instagram to see snippets of my life with Princess and The Rock and things that make me smile - @FeliciaTGL

No comments:

Post a comment