Princess and The Rock

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Wednesday, 5 March 2014

Reciprocate Temper Tantrum with...

A few days ago I shared the above post on my Facebook page. This quote spoke to me because I've been struggling with managing Princess' seemingly unreasonable temper tantrums. They were so severe that I got into temper tantrums while trying to manage that! I felt I couldn't back down and when none of my tactics work, I retaliate by annoying her! Imagine two preschoolers in a heated argument, we looked like that, except there was only one preschooler and one full-blown adult-sized post-schooler.

This went on for a while until I saw the above post and I felt it was meant for ME. I recalled my husband's reminder to give equal attention and affection to Princess after the birth of The Rock. As The Rock is a natural attention grabber with his charming and cheeky antics, it is easy for people to gravitate towards him. Remembering this, I decided to "repay" her "unreasonable" demands with more affectionate actions and see if it would yield a different result.

The next day I did the "experiment" and I'm glad to report that my hypothesis was correct! Of course I did not wait for the tantrum to escalate to the point of no return but chose to nip it in the bud with a hug. (Hey, it rhymes! :P) I noticed that each time I responded to her anger with affection and understanding she would soften and was willing to be more accommodating.

This revelation was liberating and empowering for me! The formula was easy but my pride prevented me from seeing it. I justified my unmerciful speech and action by saying, "I cannot give in to her lest she mistakes my action for conceding to her ways." All I needed to do was to show LOVE and discern her underlying needs.

As if I need to concretise my "learning",  before I linked up my post with A Juggling Mum's Motivational Mondays, I read about her understanding of her child's love languages. I thought about Princess' love languages and I think her love language is physical touch and words of affirmation because these two ways are how she shows love too.

Princess hugged me and told me "I love you forever and ever!"

Just when I thought I've got a little of this parenting thing worked out something new and challenging crops up again!

How do you reciprocate temper tantrums? Do give me a tip or two in the comments below!

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